I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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