Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
