there's paper in my vomit.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
