i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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