my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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