I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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