I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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