so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
