Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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