omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Rumble strips road head = magical
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
