I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
