You made me cry and you don't even care
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
