Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
