we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize