Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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