U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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