yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
