New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
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