The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
