Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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