She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize