Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize