I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize