Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
