Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
