I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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