He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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