Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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