y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
