Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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