I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
