There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
