i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I just put wine in my tea
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
