I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
