Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
