Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
