dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
