On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
