hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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