Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize