so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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