you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
