Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
