All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
