Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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