**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
