I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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