dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
