the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
