Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Damn victory sex feels great
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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