we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize