It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
