I like to think it a success when the cops are called
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
