I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
