what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're like the curious george of whores
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
