You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
