there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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